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A letter from Eve

This is the post excerpt.

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Dear sister,

It is my pleasure to introduce you to a change of attitude towards a fellow sister. For too long you have kept the secret of your make-up, clothier or tailor; depending on the side of town you stay, you have used mental ear plug to block the cry of that girl who is forced into a life of rude intrusion by a prick swagging beast.

These change will enable you appreciate a pregnant sister and help you give up your position on a long ATM queue for her. You will also notice that after following this blog, you will stop helping those men suffering from minus brain syndrome (MBS) shout ‘ashawo’ at a sister who is a victim of rape.

After a while, you will organize causes in fact carry placard against husband fraudsters, Animan, Manibeast  who beat and kill their wives because a pastor serving a spiritual sentence of incurable winchcraft told them their wife is ‘doing them’ therefore slitting the ‘doing wife’s’ throat to undo the doing.

Thanks for your anticipated cooperation.

Your’s sisterly,

eppasister.

HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY

widow

When I see a woman mourning the death of her husband many things run through my mind. The pain of losing a backbone, confidant and most importantly for the purpose of this discourse, a legal sexual partner, that access to relieve of every sexual tension at any time.

Of all the these thoughts the loss of a sexual partner and access to legal sexual relieve is the least concern of the widow and the society at large. Somehow, both sides believe that the sexual desire of the woman will enter the coffin with her husband and ‘take a die’ (that’s how we say it in Calabar) forgetting that the creator did not create a robot and the possibility of control delete of such desires. Though grief may push the thought of sex to the desert of the mind, the reality is that time will heal and ease the pain and with the abating of pain may come the crave of the flesh for sex.

Until recently, the Yoruba culture permits the sibling or family member of the deceased to remarry the widow of their son or brother. Our people will say ‘won su l’opo’. First, this is done to forestall the transference of wealth into another lineage when the widow decides to remarry. I believe this method was also practiced to curb promiscuity in the society as the widow may become a central well where any man can fetch from.  In recent times, the practice is no longer acceptable partly due to the reduction in the practice of polygamy and the activity of feminists (not those ones that cannot cook water in the name of feminism) whose activities over the years have granted the woman a right to be a person who can take decisions. With the death of practices like this the sexual fate of a widow is left to speculation and speculation has led to victimization of widows by their married counterparts who see them as an unwanted competition because of their vulnerability and availability.

As a people and religious institution, instead of using a timer to measure the time every male specie enters a widow’s house and came out and how she is not looking like a mourner, we must realize that the need of a widow surpasses material needs. We must extend our empathy to the sexual needs by encouraging them to either remarry if they cannot hold back sexually, stop demonizing those women who are still desirable to another man even after 2-6 children and scaring the men that want to marry them away by casting aspersions on their involvement in the death of their husbands. It is not every woman that killed her husband, biko.

 

 

If you love me you go naked for me

Laying demands to prove love, courage and superiority is an age long practice. Herod sent John the Baptist head rolling off his neck to prove his word is his bond. Prince charming scaled several mountains, fought fire spitting dragons and rode through the toughest weather to wake sleeping beauty from her ‘winch’ induced sleep disorder. 

For every case of bravery are several notable acts of stupidity and outright social-suicide where men and women throw their medulla oblongata through the window in the name of proving their love for another. Imagine receiving several strokes of koboko to prove your love for a lady who still lives in her father’s house and has other suitors lined up for the same beating. If your village people follow you, the winner will out do you by just one stroke of cane and there goes your 100 strokes with bleeding back and lacerations.

With the advent of social media, proving an undying love to a partner has received a new meaning of madness; if you love me you go naked for me. Many gullible and sometimes outrightly foolish sisters have fallen for this sinking line of thought leading to blackmail, extortortion and great emotional distress because a partner who they have never met by the way, asks them to share a nude picture of themselves to prove  love and commitment to a virtual relationship.

For young children and teenagers who are easily impressed and fall prey to such predators it’s excusable but for my searching.com sisters who think going naked and sending a picture of it to a total stranger will get them a soul mate for life, it is actually alarming because years of moral, religious and family training has gone to eternal waste. A man or woman that relates only to your naked butts and boobs cannot but cause you irrevocable damage. Nakedness outside the marital bed can never be a yard stick or thermometer for proving the Celsius of your love temperature to any man.

When your man goes anal


A post drew my attention once more to a rising trend in sex preference.     I will ordinarily look the other way but can’t when married women are being pressurized into having anal sex by their husband when such was never part of the deal before marriage. 

Many reasons have been proferred for the rise in the demand of anal sex top of which is the failure of some men to differentiate between their wives and porn stars who they watch in extreme porn movies with computer generated pleasure that no ordinary being can produce: The line between reality and the virtual has become blurred. 

My generated mind cannot conceive myself going anal but hey, if it is your preference twale. But a man; boyfriend or husband pressurizing you into having anal sex to prove whatever is a no no. I read the story of a woman who gave birth and her husband started pressurizing her for anal sex two weeks after she gave birth or else he will get ‘it’ outside. She panicked and spoke to her mother in-law who told her to give him what he wants. She eventually caputed to prove her undying love and lived in pain for weeks needing medical attention. Double wahala as her vagina was still healing from child birth and her anus was bleeding from anal penetration yet he was angry that she couldn’t repeat the act and actually had an affair!

Bottom line, why would a husband pressurize you into anal sex or any other act that is against your belief, agreed terms before marriage? It is probably because he knows you have no safety net to fall back on if he walks out. No job, he is feeding your entire generation, no respected figure to report such a husband to. So beyond saying no and damming the consequence, sisterly ask yourself why a man will threaten to walk out on you for refusing an act that will harm your health and make you lose control over your bowel movement? 

Sisterly, your value needs to be upgraded o. If you die today it’s your husband’s girlfriend that will pick your coffin. Skeleton no dey fight. Before you say no, review your value and say no before it’s too late. 

And for the still searching sisters, ask questions before you say I do. Virginity is not a guarantee for a happy home. Ask him his preference, at least you can put his answer to him if the porn movie starts dancing skelewu on his head.

eppAsister 2017

MOTHERS DAY

Happy Mothers Day to every mother and intending mother out there. 

While we appreciate the women, I cannot but remiscent over the various ills that still beset the 21st century woman and the need to improve the lots of woman world wide. Even in so-called advanced countries where the law seems to work, issues of harassment; sexual or racial is still an everyday occurrence. 

The recently released Chibok girls is testimony to the struggles an average African woman still faces. She can be kidnapped, raped, forced into marriage, given as a reward for a job well done and used as a bait, body shield and bargaining chip. 

The path of development of the girl child is still clogged with lack of education, circumcision, early marriage with its attendant health problems, widowhood rites, a society that sees the female gender only from the worth of her vagina and exposure to every form of sexual depravity known to man. 

Government policies over the years have paid only lip service to bringing injustices against the female gender to a minimum. Court cases against predators of our girls are left pending for too long if at all it makes it to the courts.

As we celebrate another Mothers Day, our government agencies, NGOS, religious bodies must live up to their name and join hands to bring injustices against the female gender to its barest minimum. It is not only subsidy fights NGOS are set up to fight; we must see them fight the causes they swore to fight. Our various Ministry for Women affairs are not just there as a form of political correctness. They must not only fight causes that will benefit the female race but must be seen to be fighting the causes as the only thing we usually see is the geles, long speeches, bottled water and bling bling background at their various meetings.

It is easy to call on organized bodies to live up to expectation but more needs to be done by the female race itself; mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, nieces, school heads, CEOs etc


You become a part of the problem when you rather keep quiet to save face than face that rapist, be it a father, uncle or figure of authority. It is sad when you see a woman shaming another rather than join hands to face that perpetrator of evil. 

Sisters, ending violence against women begins with you and I. 

Happy Mothers Day.

eppAsister 2017

GOSPEL ACCORDING TO YARIPEDIA

If you have been wondering why you have any ailment, now you know as Gov. Yari (spiritual researcher) as declared meniggitis outbreak a punishment from God for the sin of wayward pendulums. Here is a list of other sins and consequence. *Spitting in pregnancy -Legal coitus *thunder strike – stealing meat from the pot *Failure […]

images (12)

If you have been wondering why you have any ailment, now you know as Gov. Yari (spiritual researcher) as declared meniggitis outbreak a punishment from God for the sin of wayward pendulums. Here is a list of other sins and consequence.

*Spitting in pregnancy -Legal coitus

*thunder strike – stealing meat from the pot

*Failure at election – eyeing your mummy when young

*Failure at Waec, Jamb, job interview- Demanding for accountability from govt (I am really sorry for some people)

Apollo- Thinking of vying for same post as your governor

*Dysentary – refusing to marry a second wife to epp the country reduce single ladies

*Mother and Child mortality – Refusal to wash plate as a young girl

*Road accident  – allowing your father to call you 2 times before responding

Consult Yaripedia for more

eppAsister 2017

GOSPEL ACCORDING TO YARIPEDIA

images (12)

If you have been wondering why you have any ailment, now you know as Gov. Yari (spiritual researcher) as declared meniggitis outbreak a punishment from God for the sin of wayward pendulums. Here is a list of other sins and consequence.

*Spitting in pregnancy -Legal coitus
*thunder strike – stealing meat from the pot
*Failure at election – eyeing your mummy when young
*Failure at Waec, Jamb, job interview- Demanding for accountability from govt (I am really sorry for some people)
Apollo- Thinking of vying for same post as your governor

*Dysentary – refusing to marry a second wife to epp the country reduce single ladies

*Mother and Child mortality – Refusal to wash plate as a young girl

*Road accident  – allowing your father to call you 2 times before responding

 

Consult Yaripedia for more

eppAsister 2017

Nkita the loyal dog

Chapter One

Grhr…Grhr… the alarm went off and Adisa woke up early and eager to go to school; it was the last day of school. Adisa attended the Saint Peters Memorial School Falade Town. Adisa love the holiday. He could play with Nkita his dog for long and go everywhere with him without mother scolding him. Adisa also wanted to see his friends Abu and Eketi before the holiday commences. It was the long vacation and he won’t see his friends until the school resumes. More importantly, he wanted to know their holiday plans.

Nkita was a very playful but loyal dog. He is protective of Adisa’s stuff. Nkita is usually seen standing guard in front of Adisa’s door until he returns from school. Nkita is a friendly dog too. He loves to lie on his back and whimper till he gets a tummy rob. Adisa and his friends love Nkita. Whenever they come to the field to play ball, Nkita helps to fetch the ball. Nkita also loves to run errands with Adisa.

Before Adisa left for school, he washed Nkita’s eating bowl and put his food in the clean bowl. Nkita hates to eat from a dirty bowl. Nkita loves to eat bones. Adisa buys dog bones from the meat sellers from the market.

Nkita was not happy to see Adisa go to school. He wanted him to stay at home so they can play together all day. He wagged his tail and rubbed his head on Adisa’s leg.

‘I am sorry Nkita but I have to go to school.’

Nkita’s head dropped and he stopped wagging his tail.

‘Alright, let us strike a deal.’ Adisa said and Nkita raised his head.

‘When I arrive home from school, I will take you to the meat seller and buy you some biscuit bone. How about that mate?’

Nkita went ‘woof!’ wagged his tail and jumped up excitedly.

‘Now we have a deal.’ Adisa said and left for school.

After eating, Nkita went into Adisa’s room and saw his exercise book that he left on the bed!

(The Bridge Publishing House) 2016